Before We Become Extinct: Why Loving Our Natural Hair Matters

Sisters, we need to learn to love our hair before our natural look becomes extinct

At some point we need to ask ourselves a major question: what happens if we continue to reject the hair god gave us?

Natural woolly hair hasn't always been celebrated by many black women. Instead, it's been seen as an issue to correct, to soften, to cover up, to straighten, or to apologize for. Many of us hear those same kinds of words (like "rough", "tough", "nappy", "unkempt", "difficult") about our hair since we've been young children. And those kinds of words did much more than define our hair; they defined how we viewed ourselves.

And so, there is reason why loving our natural hair Matters right now. It isn't simply about being beautiful. It is about having a sense of identity and Confidence, about honoring our past, and ultimately about surviving.

Hair has meaning

Our hair does not randomly exist. It exists as a piece of who we are. In fact, the curls, twists, texture, volume, and strength of our hair tells a story that goes far beyond fashion.

For years and years, black women have been pushed away from their natural image in order to gain acceptance. We have been encouraged in both subtle and overt ways that straighter hair represents professionalism, femininity, attractiveness and desirability.

Who said that?

When we finally decide to love our natural hair, we begin to challenge the idea that beauty looks One specific way. We are reminded that our texture isn't a mistake. It isn't less valuable. It isn't something to be ashamed of.

It's ours.

Danger of vanishing

The title *Before We Become Extinct* isn't only dramatic. It's a warning.

If each generation continues to teach the next One to hide their wooly hair, then what will remain? If little girls never see their mothers, aunts, teachers or older sisters proudly wearing their natural hair, what will they think?

They may come to believe that their natural hair is acceptable only when it is concealed, stretched out, flattened down or altered/replaced.

That is how a legacy dies. Not suddenly or dramatically. But slowly and quietly. One choice at a time. One insult at a time. One moment of shame at a time.

Love of our natural hair is One way of saying "we're still here."

Self-confidence begins with what we say

While many black women are learning how to take care of their natural hair, we also need to learn how to talk positively about it.

We cannot develop self-Confidence while continuing to denigrate ourselves.

Rather than saying "my hair is too tough," we can say "my hair requires patience and attention." Rather than saying "my hair won't grow," we can say "i am learning what promotes healthy growth for my hair." Rather than saying "i look better with straight hair," we can ask "who taught me that my natural state is not beautiful?"

What we say Matters. It either enhances our feelings of shame or begins to help us heal.

Beauty isn't everything

Of course, loving your natural hair does not guarantee you will feel beautiful every single day. You will experience days where your hair drives you crazy. days when you feel tired, dull or uncertain.

Your worth however is not determined by your hair or your beauty.

Ask yourself harder questions. Am i kind? Do i encourage, support and express love to my fellow sisters? Am i pleasant company?

These aspects of you also contribute to your beauty. Your personality, spirit, intelligence and kindness represent some of your most attractive qualities.

An invitation to come home

Why do we need to love our natural hair? Because it encourages us to stop running from ourselves. It allows us to honor what we received from our foremothers. It gives younger girls permission to see themselves as beautiful before others have a chance to tell them differently.

This isn't about condemning black women for making personal choices. This is about questioning why so many of us were made to feel that our natural hair wasn't enough.

Right now is the perfect time for us to return home gently and boldly and with pride.

If this message speaks to you, buy our book Before We Become Extinct: How Do I Get the Confidence to Wear My Natural Woolly Hair? and begin your journey towards confidence, self-acceptance, and freedom.