Let Your Daughter Be Free

There's something deeply troubling about how early many black girls are taught that their natural hair is a problem to be fixed. Before they are old enough to form their own opinions, some are already being introduced to harsh chemicals, painful processes and damaging messages about what their hair should look like.

This needs to change. 

Our brothers have the exact same hair as us..yet they are not expected to go to the salon and "fix their hair."  So why are us women? 

Hamm....

Our children, our daughters, deserve better than to spend most of their childhood trying to figure out how to make their hair "acceptable" to the world. They deserve to be free. Free to know their hair texture. Free to love what comes from their head. Free from all the harsh chemicals that can ruin their hair before it's ever really had a chance to flourish.

Hair Damage Should Not Be Part of Childhood

A little girl should not have to learn beauty through pain. A little girl should not have to endure burning scalp treatments, the smell of strong chemicals and damaged strands just to look good. Unfortunately, this has become the norm for many young black girls.

When a child has harsh chemicals applied to their hair at a very young age, the consequences of those actions are not always limited to the physical. While there may be physical damage such as breakage, thinning, scalp irritation, and weak hair due to repeated exposure to harsh chemicals, there can be a bigger issue at play. The message that their hair is not acceptable in its natural state can be one of the biggest issues. That is a big burden to bear for a little girl.

Natural Hair Does Not Need to Be Corrected - Natural Hair Needs Love

Our daughter's hair does not need to be corrected. Her hair needs to be cared for. Woolly, Coily, and Tightly Textured hair is not wrong. It is not a mistake. It does not need to be chemically stripped, burned, or manipulated into another style to be beautiful. What it needs is gentle care, moisturizing, understanding, and love.

When we treat a child's hair as if it deserves to be treated with care, we teach them something powerful about themselves. We teach them that their natural hair is valuable. We teach them that beauty is not achieved through damage. We teach them that they don't need to alter their hair to be accepted.

What Are We Teaching Them?

Every decision we make regarding our daughters' hair sends a message to them. If we immediately reach for the harsh chemicals to fix their hair once they are still very young, what are we saying without using words? We may think we are making their lives easier. We may believe that we are assisting them in looking neat and easy to manage. However, children can read the underlying message long before they can verbalize it.

A child may start to believe that her hair is too hard to handle. Too embarrassing. Too much. Too difficult. Too much of a hassle.

That belief can stay with them for years. This is why we must be thoughtful. Hair choices are rarely just about the hair. They frequently establish confidence, identity and self-image.

Let Your Daughter Know Her Hair B

It is beneficial to allow a girl to experience her hair in its natural state. Allow her to watch it grow. To touch it. To learn it. To live with it. Let her feel its softness. Its strength. Its shrinkage. Its thickness. Its beauty. 

There is freedom in that.

Giving Freedom Is a Gift

We are giving our daughters the gift of being able to meet themselves before the world decides to try and redefine them. When we choose to allow our daughters to be free, we are resisting the pressure to make them fit into narrow definitions of beauty too early. We are protecting them from both physical and emotional damage. We are protecting their hair from damage. We are giving them the gift of being able to define themselves before the world defines them.

Freedom does not mean that we are neglecting our daughters. It means we are choosing gentler paths. It means we are taking the time to learn how to care for their natural hair. It means we are not equating convenience with harm. It means we are choosing to invest the extra time and energy necessary to care for our daughters' crowns in the way that they deserve to be cared for.

They're worth that investment.