The Link Between Natural Hair, Self-Worth

For many of us black women, hair is so much more than a picture-perfect curl. It's a reflection of their memories, their opinions, the pressure they're under, the pride they take in themselves, and the pain they've endured.

It's a reminder of how we often see ourselves, and how the world sees them. So, the journey to embracing their natural hair is not simply abaout accepting curls, coils, or texture. It's about finding self-worth. When we learn to accept and love our hair, we are also learning to accept and love ourselves. While many women find joy in embracing their natural hair right away, other women have to work at it. Some women struggle to find the beauty within their hair, and if that sounds like you, don't worry – you are not alone. Many women are learning to break free from years of negative messages.

Why Does Hair Matter?

Hair is very much tied to a person's identity. For most of us, our hair is the first thing people notice about us. Because of that, our hair often becomes tied into ideas of beauty, femininity and worth. Black women are frequently told (either directly or indirectly) that their natural textures are too much. They are too thick. They are too wild. They are too difficult. They are too unprofessional. They are too different.

These types of messages may not be constantly yelled out loud, but they exist in many places – including workplaces, schools, advertisements, movies and even family conversations. The amount of times a woman is exposed to these kinds of messages, the more likely she will begin to think that her natural self needs to be changed in order to be accepted. That mindset doesn’t just impact hair decisions. It can subtly shape a woman’s perception of herself.

The Harmful Effects of Beauty Standards

Many of the beauty standards that Black women are encouraged to follow were never created with Black women in mind. In fact, straight hair is commonly viewed as the standard, while woolly, coily and tightly textured hair is considered an exception – or something to be controlled.

That type of thinking sends a hurtful message. It implies that beauty approaches you the further you move away from the hair that grows naturally from your head. Over time, that type of thinking can develop feelings of insecurity, comparisons and even shame in young girls and women.

Many Black women grew up hearing very few positive descriptions of hair like theirs. Instead, natural hair was generally referred to as a problem that needed to be solved. That type of language shapes young girls long before they grow into women.

Taking Back How We View Ourselves

Embracing the decision to wear natural hair can be a powerful act of reclaiming. It can be a way of saying, “I don’t need to alter my texture to prove my worth.” I don’t need to hide my coils to show my femininity. I don’t need to shrink myself to make others feel comfortable.

Finding this type of mindset isn't a quick process. It usually starts in small ways. Staring at the mirror for a little bit longer. Being nicer to yourself. Refusing to compare your hair to someone else’s. Figuring out what your hair needs instead of fighting it.

Self-worth develops when we no longer measure ourselves based on standards that were never intended to honor us.

Natural Hair and Black Womanhood

There is something empowering about seeing confident Black women proudly displaying their natural hair. It defies old ideas. It expands the definition of beauty. It reminds us that Black womanhood cannot be defined solely by one look.

Our woolly hair is not less feminine. It is not less beautiful. It is not something that needs to be apologized for. It is a part of who we are, and it should receive the same respect, care and pride as every other part of our bodies.

When black women decide to proudly wear their hair, they also provide permission for others. Young girls take note. Other women take note. Confidence can be contagious.

A More Gentle Path

If you are still learning to appreciate your natural hair, be gentle with yourself. This journey can be emotionally challenging. It means you are working to reverse years of messages that may have taught you to see yourself in a harsh light.

Begin with where you are now. Take care of your hair. Be nice to yourself. Disprove the idea that your beauty lies in altering what is natural to you.

Our hair may reflect how much you truly believe in our own beauty. You do not need straighter hair, looser curls, or anyone's approval to do us. We are owr own beauty space. 

Want to Go Deeper?

If this message spoke to you, our book Before We Become Extinct: How Do I Get the Confidence to Wear My Natural Woolly Hair? was written with you in mind. It is here to encourage, empower and remind black women that our natural hair is beautiful, worthy and not something to hide. Get your copy today and take the next step in your journey towards confidence, healing and self-acceptance.